God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
