You work out of a Hotel?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
