Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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