He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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