We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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