Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
