I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
