hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
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That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
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just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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