and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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