she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
