it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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