I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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