I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
