oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
