I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Randomize
