I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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