In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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