is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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