Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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