I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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