you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You pole danced in your parka.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
