Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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