U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Randomize
