After last night, I could never be a politician.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
