A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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