Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize