How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
