I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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