I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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