textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Randomize
