giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
