Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
