I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
