grandma shit on top of the toilet
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Randomize
