Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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