I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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