I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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