so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
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Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
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He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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