is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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