So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Randomize
