did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
