If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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