Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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