I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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