i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
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