what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize