you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
