too bad you live with your parents still
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
