Jerry, you need to find god
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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