i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
