What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
