NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
