She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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