You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
