is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
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She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
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What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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