tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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